Once it blasts, it blasts

أحمد عابدين

أحمد عابدين

بتاريخ نشرت

I feel like I had to grow up suddenly. And I out of the blue I was slapped with adults responsibilities. Hold on a second, so you're telling me I don't get to goof around like those teenagers and twenty-something people in movies? I always wanted to stay up late though, and go on crazy adventures you know... But you're telling me I gotta sleep early to get to work, one that pays... What? A couple  dollars, just enough to make you show up the next month. 


And there's this torture when you're studying and working in a single field at the same time. You know a big chunk of what you're studying is bullshit, outdated and impractical. But at the same time you know that you're current work (at your job) doesn't live up to the standards you're taught. And it really sucks when there's nothing you can do about it, when your place of work's policy is to have loose to nonexistent standards. 

Also, being a first born sucks. It really does. Don't ask me how, EVER ASPECT OF IT SUCKS. This was super random, but I'm just beginning 

Another funny thing is that I realized I'm pretty westernized when it comes to my thoughts and Daydreams. I'm not tempted by the idea of graduating and getting married to whomever, instead I fantasize about the American dream, especially the one where I would be single, living alone in an apartment that is just enough for me and my weird belongings, working a job that's as easy as 1,2,3. Isolated from the world and only cautious about what I'm curious about that specific day, and spending Friday nights at a club enjoying a full-cream milkshake. I don't really have respect for the marriage institution, the best thing it ever did for me was bringing me to this life, and that's about it, our story ends here thankyouverymuch

I still fantasize about a partner though, not a specific person, but the idea of having a partner in general. I'm really disappointed with those guys who articulate the western mentality, why didn't they get rid of this part of the human experience?  I guess it pays them well that's why...

I've got no idea what I'm doing with my life. Not a single one. I just wanna escape everything. I want to press the reset button. I want to show up somewhere where nobody knows me and I don't know anyone. a place that I don't know... And just start over from there... 


I'm pretty sure I would nail it :) 

I think I did serious damage to my muscle tissues. I tried exercising at a gym for the second time now, but I just seem too weak for this $#!t... I researched my pains on the internet and concluded that it shouldn't last for more than two days

It's been 4 days now, and I can't even open my arms wide smh. I only wanted to get rid of my belly fat, why did I have to reck my bi muscles so hard *face-palm*... K that's about enough rant for now 

C ya 

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